christmas spirit

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Searching for the spirit of Christmas

The last couple of years I have searched for the spirit of Christmas. I began writing this post two to three weeks before Christmas. I went back to it off and on. most of the time I sat idly in front of my computer, fingers poised over the keyboard as if waiting for a spontaneous rain of thought to begin to move them.

When I was younger, the spirit of Christmas meant something very different from what it does for me today. I suspect this is similar to what many others think. We have grown into such a materialistic society. I know that means that I don’t have to jump on that bandwagon. It is difficult as much of the advertising begins months before this season.  When I was a child, Christmas meant gifts, fun, food and more importantly spending quality time with family. Christmas also revolved around endless discussions with friends about what we hoped to get and the day after Christmas was when the competition for who got the best gift began. These comparisons were often emotionally painful.

cookies

My wife and I decided not to purchase anything for each other. I, being the guy asked several times if she really meant what she had said. I didn’t want to get caught up in “Don’t get me anything for Christmas” and then when I don’t, I look like the schmuck.

Materially, my wife and I are pretty simple individuals. We choose experiences, spending time with each other and surprising each other throughout the year with small tokens of our thoughts for each other.

Our gifts this year were spending time with each other and with family. The icing on the cake as it was, was watching our soon to be 3-year-old grandson open his gifts.

Chase1

 

It’s early and I am still searching for the meaning, the spirit of Christmas. It is actually the day after Christmas and I just returned home from a very early run in temperatures which are sure to make any normal person think twice about leaving the house for anything, let alone a run. The Christmas tree remains lit in the darkened living room, the house quiet with the exception of the fountain pen I am using gliding across the pages of my journal. Beneath the tree remains the material trappings of Christmas. As I start at the tree, I try to find some meaning in the lights and the ornaments. My heart, worn and tired from always giving reminds me that the meaning of Christmas remains elusive.

mom & dad

I continue to write because I know writing always helps to clear away the noise. The smell of a freshly brewed cup of coffee and a freshly inked fountain pen help me as I continue this search for the meaning of Christmas.

I find the road, as I grow older is not always a straight line. I also admit I can be a slow learner. Chasing childhood memories of the simple pleasures cause me to struggle to see the path which I am on. When I was younger I found myself despising this fact. It was the destination and now it has become more about the path and what I notice along the way. I am able to see because I allow myself to see the gifts which are bestowed upon me along the path. They can be difficult to see because they are not wrapped nicely in bright paper and with a bow. There is no name written on the gift denoting it is for me. It is my willingness to look inside which tells me this is a gift. I find it easier to accept the often relentless pace of change and accept the inevitability of change as part of my life.

 

hands

Long ago I stopped comparing myself and my life to others. My father remains the master of pointing out the fact that when you think your life is terrible, a simple look around serves as a good reminder that this is not always true. This definition, in and of itself is subjective and serves if we maintain it as truth to allow us to grow more disillusioned, angrier and ultimately, less happy.

My children, now grown and having their own lives still gather with us to celebrate dates on the calendar which we have identified with some level of importance. For this, I am grateful. It is times such as these that remind me of the importance of understanding those things which bring a smile to our faces. For me, my gift this Christmas was being with my family and sitting back, with a smile watching. Christmas, as I write is now two days old. Retailers will tell you there are now just 363 shopping days until Christmas visits us again.

Chase

As I write these words having come inside from a run where I found myself fighting to stay warm against the 6-degree temperatures. I am in my element, the element of silence. It is silence which allows me to witness the gifts around me and to know, that regardless of what happens, I am blessed to have this time on earth. “Waking up this morning” as Thich Nhat Hahn says, “I smile knowing there are 24 brand new hours before me. I vow to live fully in each moment, and look at beings with eyes of compassion.”

The spirit of Christmas, was right in front of me the whole time. It is encompassed in the photo of my parents, the hands of my mother as she passes around chocolates, more worried about the happiness of others; it is in the photos of my grandson both as he looks toward me and as he smiles playing with his favorite gift of the night. It is sitting back and enjoying the chaos of family and the time spent with loved ones.

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Right Action

I opened the paper this morning to read that a female shopper at a Walmart store in Batavia, NY was arrested after she assaulted a 70 y.o. greeter. The shopper plead her case and explained she found the company’s policy of greeters asking to see receipts as well as the contents of a shopper’s bag, offensive. I agree but this behavior does not excuse the shopper’s behavior. I was more incensed by the comment made by another reader who throughout her comment extolled the draconian policies of this retailer. Never once was the greeter or his condition mentioned by this writer. Unfortunately this speaks directly to what we have become in this country.

Here is the comment left by Marilyn of Huntley, IL.

“Walmart is the only store in the Chicago area that requires their customers to show their receipts upon exiting the store. I find the policy personally offensive and meaningless since the greeter neither checks the items in the Walmart bags or matches each item with the receipt. If you complain about this policy, you are informed to call Wal-mart at 1-800-wal-mart. Last time I was in Wal- mart I told the greeter that I wasn’t going to show my receipt when leaving and asked her what she was going to do about it. Answer: nothing. I refused to show my receipt when leaving and left the store. I find this policy offensive since it infers that all their customers are potential shoplifters. Wal-mart can’t be accused of profiling since everyone needs to show a receipt. (I am a white woman). We have become a nation of sheep. Maybe we need an occupy Wal-mart movement. I know that next time I am at Wal-mart and am forced to show my receipt, before doing so I am going to insist that the Greeter remove every item in my bags and compare each item on the receipt.”

Throughout the “holiday” season I read many blog posts and many newspaper articles which discussed how we have “lost” and “watered down” the Christmas spirit by using politically correct terms so as not to offend others.  I am not asking my readers to accept my view regarding shopping and spending; I am simply asking my readers use common sense when shopping and to be respectful of each other as you go about your spending; holidays nor not.
I truly hope Marilyn is really not as ignorant as this comment makes her appear and sees the behavior of the shopper for what it was… unbelievable and to use the excuse she was “disrespected.” In the Buddhist faith we would refer to this as a violation of “Right Action.”
Let’s grow up and accept responsibility for our behavior and realize we are not alone in our society, we do have a responsibility to each other and that is to be respectful of each other regardless of their job and your belief that it may not qualify as important.
Namaste.