I am a therapist.
I have worked more than three decades to get where I am today.
The work I have done has allowed me to remain on this path which has helped me to achieve success and happiness so I can help others find the same degree of success and happiness.
I have worked hard to overcome difficulties in my own life to achieve the happiness in my life which I have come to enjoy.
People come to me for therapy and have unrealistic expectations.
People expect me to make changes for them. This is NOT the way this process works.
Change in the lives of others is not my responsibility. It is the responsibility of the individual seeking change.
I am simply a guide. I am the person who you approach asking for direction and support.
I am that person who you want to be open and honest with you when you ask that I provide feedback and support.
I am not that person if you are not looking for honest feedback. If you are looking for someone to lie to you about the problems which you experience in life as a result of decisions which you make, I am not that person. What you need, what you want is a friend. Most of us have had friends who tell us what we want to hear. This is NOT a friend. A friend, a true friend will provide us with honest feedback. We are lucky to have walked a path in life with at least one true friend.
I am that person when you search for honesty. I am that person who will hold a mirror to you and help you see the flaws in the process.
I am that person you hire when you realize you need more than a friend.
I am that person when you search for honesty. I am that person who will help you search for honesty. I am that person who will help you identify and find the path which you desire to make the changes which you decide need to be made to achieve the happiness for which you have been searching.
Our life, your life is one in which we have the opportunity to either stop reading or to make the changes we desire to make to come to a happier ending.
I am that person.
I rose this morning, the floor cold to my bare feet.
Golden daylight falls through the barren branches of the stand of white birch trees.
As I stare through the stand of trees, I see the silhouette of one of the Adirondack ranges standing majestically.
Hot black coffee.
Alone with my thoughts,
As I stare out the window.
Things are simpler here.
I can just be…
There is no judgment, no expectations, no goals,
There is no one to please, no one to help.
The quiet solitude of leaves as they dance on the breeze.
I slept well last night until I rose at 2:30 AM to use the bathroom. I looked out the window and wandered back to bed. Sleep did not find me as easily as it did when I first retreated to bed. Thoughts on my daughter’s predicament danced through my head. After tossing for the next 30-minutes and focusing on my breathing, sleep finally found me again.
I rose, showered, made coffee and drove with Marissa and Chase to the Buffalo Science Museum. We spent the next four hours looking at many of the exhibits and watching Chase partake in all of the hands-on activities. It’s always rewarding to watch him play. Even when my kids were small I found more joy in watching their exploration of their surroundings. Watching Marrisa engage with him also brought a smile of joy.
I kept my distance and at times found myself sitting by myself, by choice. Thoughts of her predicament and trying to manage my thoughts regarding her life decisions kept me occupied sometimes staring blankly into space. I wonder about her decisions and hope medication and counseling will assist her. My role as a social worker causes me to struggle because like the relationship with my clients, I also cannot fix her problems. Watching her encourage Chase helped bring me back.
We returned home and I sat outside with a cigar enjoying the solitude.
Temperatures today reached 51 degrees which is unseasonably warm for November 24th. I become lost in thought about all of the things for which I am thankful. It is 5:40 PM. Daylight is fading fast, but before it leaves, there is a reminder of the beauty which graced us today. Fading sunlight backlights the clouds with brilliant oranges, which, as they continue to fade change to bright pink.
I could not think of a better way to spend “Black Friday.”